Nurturing your feminine spirit in a misogynistic world

Once, sitting on an outside table having a drink and a laugh and chat amongst travelling strangers, I witnessed an assault that was born of nothing other than pure misogyny.

I was 18, and was earning my living and a bed, by doing a bit of cooking and cleaning at a ‘backpackers’ I use the term loosely.

Graham, the owner, was hiring out rooms, mainly to young backpackers in Byron Bay.

On this night however there was myself, my friend Tasman, a 28 year old Australian male, Graham, 52, grey hair and sharky eyes, another person my memory no longer places, and a new arrival, a 27 year old petite, pixie cropped, red head from Sydney. I can’t remember her name, but she was a writer, and she had booked a room for a couple of weeks to concentrate on her writing. She was filled with hope and optimism and self assurance. She spoke with conviction. I was impressed by her. To my 18 year old self she seemed mature and worldly.

We were all chatting, smoking cigarettes, laughing. Getting to know one another.

And then out of the blue, while this pixie-haired vivacious woman expressed her opinion, shark-eyed Graham picked her up by the hair, and threw her like a rag doll against the balcony railing, disgust and fury on his face. She bounced from the railing to the floor, knees buckling.

I screamed at Graham to stop, so did she. It’s a bit of a blur, 16 years ago now, but I ran to a couple of doors to a much friendlier backpackers to use the phone to call the police. Tasman took the victim to his room downstairs and sat with her until she figured out where she was going to go next.

I was shocked. There was nothing in the conversation to provoke an attack like that, particularly from a complete stranger. They weren’t in argument.

I don’t know why Graham attacked that woman. But I can make a few guesses. I believe that shark-eyed Graham felt he was being outdone by this intelligent, beautiful and driven young women,and he was threatened by her.

He didn’t believe she was entitled to her opinions. She was talking, sharing her story and he wanted to silence her. So he used force.

I moved out of shark-eyed Grahams backpackers the next day. He spoke to me in the living area. After a string of derogatory slurs aimed at the assault victim, he threatened me indirectly “I don’t know who rang the cops but if I find out anyones been speaking to them I’m going to …………………” I can’t remember his exact words. He knew it was me of course, this was his way of silencing me. It worked, I didn’t make a statement when the police dropped by and invited me to the station.

This is an extreme example, but all women have been silenced or ignored in our culture in one way or another. We’re spoken over socially, and corporately. We’re judged negatively for speaking with firmness or certitude. We’re seen as less worthy both physically and financially. And it’s complete bullshit.

This is why womens circles are important. This is where we can speak, be heard, not be judged or disregarded. Not be forcefully silenced. And when we sit together, we help heal these long held wounds. And we can overcome them, and in turn help our community overcome them. And little by little, we will heal the world.

The divine feminine is rising. And she is just as worthy as the masculine.

Womens circle is starting this Saturday at The Meeting Place, South Fremantle. Bookings are essential. Send me a message or email. xxx I'm be honoured to sit in circle with you.