Herbs that can help when you're feeling grumpy

Some days are much harder than others. When things go wrong, or a spanner is thrown in the works  emotions bubble up and you find yourself being a little bit snappy. Wouldn't you know it though, there's a herb for that. 

I practise herbalism on an energetic basis. We all have our different personality's, dispositions, and energetics. What's right for you will be different to what's right for me, and I love finding the right plant medicine for the right person. 

I mixed up the below formula for myself last week when I was a grumpy mcgrump pants, and it worked a treat.

Korean Ginseng 

This one is powerful. So powerful that I find many herbalists shy away from it. it's quite stimulating, so wonderful if you're feeling tired and havn;t had enough sleep. Which was me last week, a combination of staying up a bit too late and my kids needing me in the middle of the night. It's indicated for loss of physical stamina, exhaustion and tiredness, and diminished concentration and memory Just what I needed. I find a few drops of korean ginseng prior to a long drive is excellent for helping concentration. 

Sage

Sage is one of my personal herbal allies and finds it's way into many of my personal blends. It contains rosmarinic acid which is an antioxidant and really good for your brain. Matthew Wood lists one of sages traditional uses (of which there are many) as indicated for 'withered dry skin and withered tendons.' Yes exactly how I feel after not getting enough sleep for a week. Also has traditionally been indicated for mental lethargy, depression, melancholy and poor concentration. There are many other uses - this plant is complex and full of magic as far as I'm concerned - the uses I've listed above seem the most apt here. 

St Mary's Thistle

A powerful liver healer, this herb prevents and reverses damage to the liver induced by alcohol and life in general. Wonderful for strengthening the liver to process all those nasty toxins you don't need. In traditional chinese medicine the liver is associated with the emotion of anger, so by nurturing the liver you nurture your anger. 

Zizyphus

Has a mild tranquilising effect - perhaps downplaying all those irritable emotions. It's indicated for anxiety, nervous exhaustion, restlessness, irritibility and insomnia. Perfect. I always expected this herb to be quite sedative but have found when taking it, it actually has more of a calm your nerves type vibe. It helps you get off to sleep because it calms your irritability and anxiety allowing you to destress. I’ve found it doesn’t make you drowsy if you want to stay awake.

Ginger

Another herbal ally for me that I consider a master healer. just so much awesomeness in one little root. Full of anti-inflammatory, calming goodness, and a little bit of ginger tincture added to a herbal blend improves the taste an awful lot. 

This is by no means an exhaustive list of herbs that can help your mood - there are many more. This mix was exactly what I needed at the time. After taking this blend all noises and mess and annoyance dulled and faded. I managed my tiredness for the rest of the day, and of course, made sure I got into bed early for a goods night sleep. 

If you'd like to experience the gorgeous support offered to us through our herbal allies, please book in for herbal medicine appointment. Appointments are available online or in person in South Fremantle. 

Herbal tincture

On being a lightworker and a ghost story

A disembodied spirit jumped on to me while I was visiting a recently-ex-drinker. This person had been forced into abstinence by medical necessity. 

Alcoholics tend to attract disembodied spirits, or ghosts, if you like. Ghosts never quite followed the light and are stuck in a miserable space of nowhere, always having needs not being fulfilled, seeking out depression and misery as that is the frequency they dwell in. I guess the ghosts that loved a drink while living, love a drink while dead. Perhaps you could call it some kind of hell? Anyway, I’m not one that physically sees disembodied spirits as I’m walking around in ordinary daylight, (I have seen them while deep in process giving Shiatsu bodywork, but that’s another story) however I’m pretty sure I felt the moment this particular entity decided that I’d do. I was sitting on my friends couch, and I guess this entity was bored shitless as my friend was no longer drinking or smoking, I felt it attach to me.  

I hadn’t had a drink for ages - well a month, but that’s a long time for me. I’d been feeling fabulous and not missing it at all. But on the way home I noticed every. single. bottle shop. And not only every single bottle shop, but every pedestrian that happened to be carrying a bottle of wine. The shops gleamed at me with their yellow lights as I passed by.  

The traffic was terrible, the hour was late, and I realised I'd be home past dinner time with hungry kids and at least half an hour of food prep in front of me, If not more. I decided to go to Rouccos for dinner, order the kids some pizza and spaghetti, and skip the whole clean up altogether. After this decision was made I realised I could order a glass of wine. That’s exactly what happened. I’m pretty sure it was the entity influencing my decisions.  

The wine gave me a terrible headache after a couple of hours. I knew I needed to get rid of this thing. In the meantime I discovered someone I thought a friend had unfriended me over a relatively impersonal disagreement. Yes, it was only facebook, but it still hurt. This was upsetting on top of having an alcoholic entity hanging out with me. 

I knew what I needed to do, I trained in Alana Fairchild's channelled healing modality Soul Guidance and Sacred Mentoring TM- soon to be renamed Saraswati Healing - last year. It is a gorgeous modality that involves creating a sacred container for channelling spiritual light and using the Crystal Mandala Oracle and accompanying books for guided healing processes. It always feels heart expansive and amazing. You come into your session with an intention, and that intention is flooded with spiritual energy to be made manifest. You have the choice of working with Angels, Ascended Masters and Goddesses, each with their own flavour. There are 54 possible unconditionally loving beings within the deck and healing processes to come through and offer healing and guidance for you.  

After a couple of days of finding the time (cause you know, mum life ), I ran an Ascended Masters 333 healing template  

I was drawn to study with Alana because I find she is divinely clear channel. The particular prayer for clearing entities and karmic clearing within the template is exquisite and complete. I made sacred space and using the Crystal Mandala oracle deck, pulled my ascended master for help. Mataji. Mataji is a Hindi word meaning ‘mother.’ As the story goes Matajii is an unconditionally loving spiritual being who lives in the centre of the Earth, holding space for us all with loving embrace. She is a grounding energy and of the base chakra. Perfect, because the base chakra is associated with tribe, family and our sense of belonging. The unfriending had upset me greatly, was weakening my base chakra, and draining my energy.  

The beautiful entity clearing prayer gently encourages the disembodied spirit into the light. A further message and guidance from spirit healed my leaky chakra, ridding me of my emotional upset over the unfriending completely. The whole process takes about an hour, and I was left blissful and relieved of my suffering, and no cravings for alcohol since.  

I’m soon to be offering these sessions one on one and am looking to run group sessions which will be an evening of guided process and sharing in circle. You create an intention for whatever you like, be it personal growth or healing for humanity. 

What I love most about this modality is that every time you offer healing to yourself, you offer healing to all. Gathering with others to generate a sacred container and channel healing light for ourselves that we can then send out to wherever it’s needed is powerful and important. And right now particularly, the world needs healing light. And that is what this is, light work with unconditional love. 

Also I’m going to be running a Goddess template at the Sistahood Rising festival in November  this year, so very much looking forward to that! 

I look forward to sharing more of this with you soon.  

Alana Fairchild can be found at www.alanafairchild.com

The artwork in the background of this image is by Shiloh Sophia Mcloud

Why we need healing with the divine feminine, and what that actually means

Over the last few years there’s been a LOT of media coming out about the divine feminine, or the sacred feminine, but what does that really mean?

I know personally, back in 2012, the words feminine divine started to pop into my head when I was meditating, so as the years went by and I noticed other people were talking about this, I took a lot of interest. Here’s what I make of it.

We relate feminine principles to attributes such as nurturing, receptivity, nourishing, intuition an even organising.

The divine feminine isn’t about biological sex, neither is it something only of benefit to woman. We all have a balance of feminine and masculine within us. The divine feminine has been squashed under the patriarchal reign of the last whatever-thousand years.

The feminine supplies the nutrients needed in order to grow. Like the placenta and the womb, and breastmilk, or like the rich fertile soils that grow plant life of earth. There’s been a cultural decision to bind the feminine and not allow her to flourish. We’ve been this way for so long that women are commonly bigger patriarchs than men. It’s ingrained. And this is not about being anti-men. No body benefits under a patriarchy.

Our patriarchy is evident in the way we plumage the earth for her resources, taking, taking, taking but not allowing the resources to replenish. It’s evident in the way we (as occupants of earth) have been fighting and trying to achieve domination over each other for ever. The way we put profit before people, animals and the environment. The objectifying of the female body not out of a place of respect but of a wish to occupy and control. The way it’s common across many cultures for children to be sexually abused, married young and sold to the sex trade. All of this action is done without consideration fo the wellbeing and nurturing of the individual. There is a saying in Japan, There’s no such thing as a wise woman. This belief is reflected through many cultures on our planet. The feminine for so long has not been able to speak. But the feminine, if allowed, would not allow our bodies and our earth to be raped.

Of course the symptoms and consequences of patriarchy above apply to a much smaller scale in our own lives, the way we choose to live in our loss of power and control over ourselves, the way we work ourselves to the bone, stressed, frazzled, how we get lost in distraction. We’ve forgotten how to go inwards and trust our intuition, and we ignore what we know is right.

The divine feminine isn’t a doormat. We have been traumatised, in our personal childhood, and as a culture collectively. The divine feminine teaches us about feeling and processing that trauma so you can move onto other things and lift other people up. The divine feminine in her wisdom stands tall in her conviction. When something is not right she puts it right. I spent the weekend in workshop with Alana Fairchild in discussion about Goddess energy, the stories and lessons that the goddess energy tells. Goddess Tara tells us we have a divine given right to say no thank you to what is not right and what does not serve. Goddess Isis sees us through the healing process. Feeling all the feels, processing the pain. There is a purity in the darkness and through it we can rise again, this is the teaching of Isis. And Kali, with her sacred fury. She is all about the power of truth and wisdom over the falsehood of the ego. I find through reflection and embodiment of these goddesses, their stories and principles, I bring the divine feminine through myself.

The strong, protective, divine masculine merges with the divine feminine in a beautiful union. If the divine masculine in us devoted it’s logic, strength and protective qualities to protecting and allowing the feminine and to protecting the earth and our communities - then we would see true healing and true evolution take place.

This blog was strongly inspired by our discussion during the workshop with Alana Fairchild over her weekend, and her book The Kuan Yin Transmission, pictured above, is an extension of the workshop content. I haven’t read it yet but looking forward to snuggling in with my signed copy.

An ode to breastfeeding

I once read in the comments section on facebook, that ‘breasts are for sex and for feeding children.’ This was quickly followed up by guffawing of other commenters “Ahem, breasts are for babies!'

After four years of continuous breastfeeding, I can assure you breasts are most definitely for babies. Everything about their design, the softness, the lumpiness, the silky nipples that are such a joy for babies to grab onto, babies love fondling tags on toys, and nipples on boobs. the squishiness, their warmth, the position on the body so you can hold the child to your breast, lie with them and stroke their little heads. The love hormone oxytocin release stimulating bonding between mother and child, all for babies.

When my milk first came in about two days after giving birth to my daughter I looked like I’d had a boob job. They were so big and round and sat up just so. Now I understood that what my culture agrees to be the perfect breast, is the look of a breast engorged with breast milk, and completely capable of sustaining new life. It made sense, I forgave mankind a little bit that day. I hoped my boobs would stay like that, they didn’t.

My time of breastfeeding is drawing to a close. we have no more babies planned. For over four years my boobs have been at the beck and call of my babies. First one, then both, and then the other one.

Now my son is 2 and a half and the weight of his body and the feel of his latch tell me instinctively that it’s time to wean. My daughter, who is 19 months older, was also 2 and a half when I weaned her. I breastfed them both - as in at the same time tandem style, yes one one each boob, - for almost 12 months. They offer the best of convenience, delicious warm milk on demand, comfort when sad, bonding and togetherness, play and enjoyment. A remedy when hurt. My children both loved their boobies.

Breastfeeding hurt at first. They tell you it doesn’t hurt if the latch is right. Not true, it hurt. It hurt no matter how many times I had my child's latch checked and assured it was fine, no matter how many times I ‘made my boob into a burger and squeezed it in her mouth', breastfeeding hurt. They say that fair skinned red heads feel the most pain when breastfeeding. I’m a fair skinned brunette so perhaps I come in in a second or third on the pain stake. My nipples became sore and cracked and bled. By day 11 feeding was agony but I gritted my teeth. I was determined. I used a nipple shield for every feed for three days out of necessity. I healed, and then it never hurt again.

My milk sustained them and though they both were born rather skinny, they grew chubby very quickly. Fat little rolls over their thighs, up their arms and on their cheeks.Sweet little smiles and shiny eyes, only for mummy.

I love the snuggly closeness, the shared bed convenience. How easy it was to stumble out of bed at that first wake up cry at 5.30 and climb back into bed with them, warm and cosy, feeding away. The beautiful smells of my babies head, their chubby little hands, their innocent sweet eyes taking in all around them, always happy to be on the boob.

They say not to feed to sleep, but feeding to sleep was one of the most relaxing parts of my day, and personally one of my favourite things about breastfeeding. Feeding to sleep absolutely saved me when I was home alone with two babies who needed to nap. A chance to lie down and often snooze with my little one. And in the evenings, guilt free time scrolling my phone amidst the dinner/bedtime routine and then the clean up grind.

My child was safe, happy and warm in my arms with all their needs being met.

With my first baby I tried following a sleep routine to get her in the habit of 12 hour nights by three months old. A 12 hour night didn’t happen until she was way over 18 months. I couldn’t follow the advice, it went agains all my mothering instincts: “let baby feed for 40 minutes, otherwise they’ll be hungry and wake up sooner” My child wouldn’t feed longer than 15 or 20. Don’t feed to sleep, put baby down relaxed but awake, yeah right. Being separated from her boob wasn’t relaxing for my baby or for me. Leaving the child on the boob was much more relaxing for everyone involved.

Even now, removing my toddler from the boob isn’t relaxing. We’ve cut out the snuggly wake up morning feed, and my mornings are much more accomplished because of it. Next we’ll cut out the night feed, and last of all, the midday nap feed. This one is last because I’m not convinced I’ll be able to get my son to sleep in the day without breastfeeding, but we shall see.

As I write this, I’m relieved I still have breastfeeds left to give, because the thought of stopping completely will mark the end of my baby-mummy years, and that’s sad. It’s also beautiful, as now I have gaps in my days to create and accomplish what I could never have done with two under two, or even two under three. Coming out the other side of extreme baby years is like rediscovering who you are all over again. And I still get to cuddle (and sniff) my children every day. There’ll be no risk of my child pulling out my breast in public. And I’ll be keeping the necklines of all my clothes intact.

This was the first major family outing I’d been on since giving birth to John John. We’d been driving for about half an hour and the kids were both losing it. We stopped for a booby break.

4 surprising ways to get True Rest

So often we hear advice to ‘rest’ but what does that really mean?  I’ve noticed, especially when taking what I think of as physical rest, that I often feel like it goes too quick and I’m not any more energised. 

True rest comes in many forms. 

1 Physical Rest

This is what I most regularly think of when I hear the word rest. Quite often I fantasise about lying on the couch watching netflix for as long as I want. Or even better, lying in my bed reading books, laptop and phone within reach,  teapot at my side, uber eats at my fingertips. And then of course, there’s the holiday style of rest, lying by the pool at the resort, sun on your face. Most importantly of all though, there’s sleep. Adequate sleep. That you need to get every single night. 

I used to consider myself a night owl. What my fuzzy brain struggled to understand at 2pm became clear at 9.00pm and suddenly all my resistance was gone and I could work away. When I would eventually get into bed I’d lie awake for a while, and I’d tell myself because I’m not falling asleep there’s definitely no point in getting to bed earlier. 

But then I discovered that by getting into bed at 9.30, reading for half an hour and turning out the lights strictly at 10pm I’d fall asleep almost immediately. I’d sleep all night long and I’d wake up rested. Absolute game changer. 

A ritual bath is another wonderful way to get some physical rest. Run a bath, add flowers, crystals, magnesium salts, essential oils. Light candles and dot them around the room. Play music. Soak. 

And then of course there’s bodywork and massage therapies. As humans we have a fundamental need for physical touch. Receiving kindness in the form of bodywork therapy heals on several different  levels. 

2. Active Rest

The best way to go about this one is to get into your body. Deeply. Perhaps with exercise, such as a run, yoga poses, breath work, slow and deliberate walks in nature. Wonderful sex. Being present in your body can take you out of your mind in supremely positive way. Have you ever had inspiration hit you right in the throes of some heavy exercise, like in a cycle class? I have. Getting into your body can open up some channels to your higher wisdom, because you’re no longer blocking it with lower vibrational or fear based thoughts. The word Inspire is from the Latin word inspirare meaning ‘to breathe in'

3. Emotional Rest

Sometimes a break from the constant worry and pain we put ourselves through, or our loved ones put us through, is a pure blessing. Life can drag you through the ringer. It’s completely normal to be controlled by our emotions, but it’s not necessary.  And then there’s the tight and restrictive emotional anguish caused by guilt, anger and regret. 

This is where forgiveness practices, gratitude practices and acceptance practices shine their light. Finding peace, even temporary peace, with a situation that has been causing anguish and worry offers immense relief, if only for a short time it’s still worth it. Look our for free meditation podcasts on forgiveness. Practice wild compassion with yourself and others. Come into the present. I love the subtle vibrations of flowers and crystals for helping heal on the emotional sphere. Seek out flowers or rocks that attract you. Sit with them with the intention of relief. Or book a flower essence consultation with a qualified practitioner and get your own personal blend. 

4. Mental Rest

Our inner dialogue can really beat the hell out of us if we leave it unchecked. We are so often our most unforgiving critics. Here forgiveness (of self and others), non-judgement* and again, conscious acceptance practices, can bring happiness. Journalling, with a focus on what you like about yourself, lessons you’ve learnt, and advice to your younger self can really help. Exercise, such as in active rest, is wonderful here. If feeling stressed out and anxiety are common there are many wonderful herbs that can help you boost your resilience and find balance. 

So when you’re feeling worn out consider what kind of rest you could most benefit from. Be kind to yourself and schedule some in. Then you can rock on shining your light and being the beautiful, necessary and important beacon you are with a full cup.

*I loved Gabrielle Bernstein’s book Judgement Detox, for understanding and de-constructing our own judgements (hint: all your judgements about others are a reflection of your own fears or pain). And understanding the judgements of others. 

Artwork..... with love ......from Spirit

How incredible is this! Over the past year I’ve seen my lovely friend Wendy van der Laan deliver these beautiful spirit guide and elemental artworks to their recipients with awe and admiration.

It wasn’t until yesterday when I picked up the beautiful piece she had channelled for our family (yes there are spirit guides and messages in this for myself, my husband and my children) was I blown away by the pure unconditional love emanating from her artwork. 

There are faces upon faces upon faces, so much to explore and her skill in bringing the drawings to life is exquisite. 

This is the kind of artwork that promises hours, upon hours, upon hours of staring time. 

Wendy explains her spiritual artworks of charcoal and pastel chalks are visual messages of love, guidance and healing from your own soul. She works in meditation from a photo of you and allows the images and layers to evolve over several hours. 

I feel such a strong connection with my piece. I had intended it to go in my hallway , towards the entrance, like a beautiful welcome home and soul blueprint for our family. But when I saw it I knew it must go straight to my sacred space, where I meditate and give Shiatsu, in the back studio. This artwork needs room to breathe, and to be viewed while seated comfortably, rather than on foot when passing by. Wendy suggested I sit back and meditate with it, and see if any messages come through. So far I’ve sat for a short amount of time with this portrait, I’ve felt so much love from one being in particular and my heart expands immensely connecting with the energy. There’s so much more to explore, so many more beings to connect with. Whenever I see it I feel tremors of joy shimmering through my body.

It’s a treasure I’ll never part with. 

Wendy can be found on Facebook at www.facebook.com/artfromtheheartbywendy 

Womb-Calming Berry Cacao Smoothie with Granola (for that time of the month)

The second day of my cycle and my womb was angry this morning. Usually my period greets me with a hardly bothersome twinge in my womb space that lasts about an hour and then is gone.  

BUT with christmas, two plane trips alone with two kids under 3.5. And then ALL the dysfunction of my family in between. The past cycle has been particularly stressful. My health habits were wanting, a side effect of being back amongst my bloodline amidst the festive season.  More grog, more crappy foods, less exercise.

Experience has told me that ALL OF THIS leads to a crampy sad uterus come the  dark moon.

The craving for chocolate, or Cacao in its raw form, is more than just pleasurable desire at this time of the month. Cacao is a good source of magnesium, a mineral that helps muscles relax as well as about 160 other actions in your body. Therefore it’s wonderful for helping your uterus calm the fuck down. I love the berries for boosting my energy and my insides as well.

Anyway

1 cup of raspberries

1 cup of mixed berries

2 cups of water

1 banana

2 tsp of cacao

1 tablespoon of hazelnut cacao butter

2 tsp of maple syrup/honey or to taste

Blend Blend Blend, sprinkle granola on top. Those granola carbs at bleeding time are delicious.

Other tricks that helped tame the angry womb this morning: Laying in a hip opening yoga pose while I listened to a guided meditation by Dannielle Laporte that placed me deep, deep, deep in a green rainforest of creation. I nodded off towards the end and woke cured.

Nurturing your feminine spirit in a misogynistic world

Once, sitting on an outside table having a drink and a laugh and chat amongst travelling strangers, I witnessed an assault that was born of nothing other than pure misogyny.

I was 18, and was earning my living and a bed, by doing a bit of cooking and cleaning at a ‘backpackers’ I use the term loosely.

Graham, the owner, was hiring out rooms, mainly to young backpackers in Byron Bay.

On this night however there was myself, my friend Tasman, a 28 year old Australian male, Graham, 52, grey hair and sharky eyes, another person my memory no longer places, and a new arrival, a 27 year old petite, pixie cropped, red head from Sydney. I can’t remember her name, but she was a writer, and she had booked a room for a couple of weeks to concentrate on her writing. She was filled with hope and optimism and self assurance. She spoke with conviction. I was impressed by her. To my 18 year old self she seemed mature and worldly.

We were all chatting, smoking cigarettes, laughing. Getting to know one another.

And then out of the blue, while this pixie-haired vivacious woman expressed her opinion, shark-eyed Graham picked her up by the hair, and threw her like a rag doll against the balcony railing, disgust and fury on his face. She bounced from the railing to the floor, knees buckling.

I screamed at Graham to stop, so did she. It’s a bit of a blur, 16 years ago now, but I ran to a couple of doors to a much friendlier backpackers to use the phone to call the police. Tasman took the victim to his room downstairs and sat with her until she figured out where she was going to go next.

I was shocked. There was nothing in the conversation to provoke an attack like that, particularly from a complete stranger. They weren’t in argument.

I don’t know why Graham attacked that woman. But I can make a few guesses. I believe that shark-eyed Graham felt he was being outdone by this intelligent, beautiful and driven young women,and he was threatened by her.

He didn’t believe she was entitled to her opinions. She was talking, sharing her story and he wanted to silence her. So he used force.

I moved out of shark-eyed Grahams backpackers the next day. He spoke to me in the living area. After a string of derogatory slurs aimed at the assault victim, he threatened me indirectly “I don’t know who rang the cops but if I find out anyones been speaking to them I’m going to …………………” I can’t remember his exact words. He knew it was me of course, this was his way of silencing me. It worked, I didn’t make a statement when the police dropped by and invited me to the station.

This is an extreme example, but all women have been silenced or ignored in our culture in one way or another. We’re spoken over socially, and corporately. We’re judged negatively for speaking with firmness or certitude. We’re seen as less worthy both physically and financially. And it’s complete bullshit.

This is why womens circles are important. This is where we can speak, be heard, not be judged or disregarded. Not be forcefully silenced. And when we sit together, we help heal these long held wounds. And we can overcome them, and in turn help our community overcome them. And little by little, we will heal the world.

The divine feminine is rising. And she is just as worthy as the masculine.

Womens circle is starting this Saturday at The Meeting Place, South Fremantle. Bookings are essential. Send me a message or email. xxx I'm be honoured to sit in circle with you.

Addiction: Are you in a cycle of desire and distraction? Read this:

Life is full of cycles. I like to think we cycle upwards, each time we come around to the start we know a little more, we’ve become a little wiser. We crush it a little better then before. Ideally we ride a spiral of continual improvement.

But obviously this isn’t always the case. I know personally I’m aware of cycles that come up over and over. I know they don’t serve me but there I am, yet again addicted to sugar, drinking to much coffee, staying up way to late, whatever.

Often there is a deep shame about the things we do that we shouldn’t. Yet we do them because we get something out of it, deep in our brains our reward centres are being triggered.

Repeated often enough the behaviour that gets the reward gently turns from compulsive to impulsive. Suddenly we don’t even recognise we’re about to stuff some carbs into our mouths and we do it without thought. The trick is to override the desire, the cravings. Like we need to learn to tolerate them because the outcome where that desire leads us is not serving us.

That’s the thing, what we desire isn’t necessarily what we want.

I have a hunch that talking about these issues out in the open, sharing out stories, becoming aware of where and why we do them, and practising mindfulness will go a long way towards healing unproductive cycles of desire and distraction.

This is exactly what we’re doing in circle. We’re going to sit and share our stories, whatever they are, what’s good, what’s bad, and what we want to be doing better. We’ll be sharing in a sacred, female only, non-judgemental, supportive environment.  The goal is to find more joy through what truly nourishes us, rather then the cheap and easy solution that does you a disservice.

We’re starting on September 8th,

and please send me a message if you have any questions.

naturopath + shiatsu massage

When women gather in circle

A few years ago now, I was visiting my in-law's with Evie, who was then perhaps nine or ten months old. I usually dropped in on them at some point during the week so they could see their Grandaughter.  I sat in the light-filled lounge room as Peter interacted with his granddaughter and Judyth arranged masses of tea cups and saucers on her extended dining table. She was expecting her bookclub within the hour. They had been meeting monthly for over 30 years. We chatted and Evie crawled about. Then the women started to arrive.

They began filling the room in a whirl of colour, warmth and grey hair. There was a buzz of chatter and laughter as old friends joined together yet again. Peter politely escaped to his study.

I witnessed the room fill with wisdom, lifetimes, stories, love and heartbreak.  I noticed a shift in energy that was extraordinary, it felt divine. Something about the pure female presence. There were perhaps 15 women, all in their 70's, coming together to share and chat.

It felt like home.

I realised I yearned for this, this supportive group of women. I was living interstate from my mother, my sisters, my aunty's and all my childhood friends.

Several months later I found a womens circle, it was being held almost an hours drive from my house, but I was happy to make the journey at the time. I got a baby-sitter, popped on an audio book and away I went for a couple of hours. The first freedom I'd had since becoming a mother.

I wasn't really sure what to expect at circle but was pleasantly surprised. All the beautiful women, of all ages, who gathered there had a turn at speaking about whatever we felt like that week. We were all heard and celebrated without judgement. The facilitator, the gorgeous Tracie McFie of Wyld Tribe, led us in meditations and a theme. Sometimes we danced, and at the end we'd all choose a card from a oracle deck that had been arranged around an altar in the centre.

It was healing. At the time I was in my third trimester of pregnancy with John John and notably I had this insight into childbirth through one of the meditation sessions there.

When women come together in support of one another, we begin to heal ourselves. And therefore, by healing ourselves, we begin to heal our families, our communities and the world.

I've had my eyes open but I've noticed a lack of circles available in my own home town. So I've hired a room at The Meeting Place South Freo and I'm running a womens circle starting Saturday September 8th.

My wish is to bring women together in community to support each other through discussing what nourishes us and what doesn't. The focus is to begin to heal negative behaviours and self sabotage.

, I'll be honoured to sit in circle with you.

Fertile womb breathing to calm your mind

This is great to spark your innate creativity or a wonderfully relaxing exercise when trying to conceive.

1. Lie or sit comfortably

2. Place your palms on your wombspace

3. Shut your eyes and breath deeply in through the now and out through the mouth

4. Feel your belly rise and fall. Let thoughts pass through your mind, keep coming back to your breath.

5. Visualise breathing the colour orange into your womb.

Continue for as long as you like, but try for at least three minutes to start. The more you stay with this exercise the better you will feel at the end. Much love.

Why I'm quitting wine time

When I went on holidays four months ago now I started a nightly wine habit. At the end of the day with all my time taken by the demands of my children, sipping a glass of wine while I cook dinner gives a consistent and easy ‘break.’ An delightful escape while still in the throes of dinner, bath, bedtime and clean-up. Its dependable, wine doesn’t let me down.  The subtle and sometimes not-so-subtle shift in sobriety feels like a reward for being prevented from thinking in complete sentences or following a thought process through to action by the constant interruptions and demands of toddlers.

But it’s bad for me. It’s so bad for me. the sugar, the useless calories, the inflammation.  I’m sure it’s ageing me, and I’ve become such a snacker. I’ve gained weight to a point where I no longer feel that great about my hips. And definitely not my calves. My kids have started talking about my tummy. My intuition is cloudier, and it’s starting to take me longer to get going in the morning. I don’t want this anymore.

I know, from experience that once I abstain for a couple of weeks I won’t ever think about it or miss it. But it hasn’t been easy to stop. I open a bottle and have one, maybe two glasses, Andy has one or two, and then there’s still plenty left for the next night and even the night after that. It becomes a nightly habit so easily.

I might go two or three days without wine most weeks. After this short break it feels like wine is a non-issue and rather fun, so I or my husband get another bottle and then we have another couple of nights supply. The habit is fed. It’s a subtle addiction cycle.

The physiology of addiction generally means a release of neurotransmitters such as GABA and dopamine in a rush that is mildly to strongly euphoric. And then in the absence and lack of the neurotransmitter the cravings come. 'Have that substance again so you can feel good’ Your brain and body calls out to you. It’s a cycle, an unnecessary cycle that keeps you trapped always wanting more.

I need to wade through the discomfort with grace and elegance like a dancing crane, according to a reading of my Kuan Yin oracle* cards today. Wading through the discomfort is most definitely necessary.

The challenge is leaning into the discomfort instead of away from it with yet another glass of wine. It takes is a willingness to get to the other side. When in those moments of discomfort if I just allow myself to be there feeling it (oh my god the kids are driving me crazy…) and experience that it’s really not that bad.  It’s bearable.  I have to keep my own promise to myself by choosing not to pour a glass.

With some patience and focus the cravings will disappear, the habit will be forgotten and I won’t even think about it.

My desire to do better is divinely guided.

Grief and your inner wisdom

On the Friday just past I lost my darling dog Jim.  

He was my constant companion these last 13 years, since I was 21. He represented a time of freedom, My early adulthood. He was our love child. Andy and I got Jim because we loved each other so much. He was the beginning of our family.

We had been together for a year and been trying to settle in Melbourne, but it wasn’t happening. We went to Phillip Island for a weekend getaway and there we saw a beautiful border collie running up the beach, his long mane flowing in the wind. In that moment we had a shared epiphany.

Thats what we wanted. Let’s do that. Andy returned to Perth and within the space of a week had a job, a car, a house and a border collie puppy from Pinjarra. He named him Jim.

I stayed in Melbourne for a couple more weeks, hanging out with my bestie Kat. It was the last time I would see her. She passed 4 months later. I remember how Jim was there with a happy face as I sat in the back garden bleary eyed and and shellshocked with her passing. How he walked with me to Kirkwoods deli at 6am the morning after so I could buy some cigarettes. How oblivious he seemed to my pain. How he taught me that life goes on.

I have not felt grief since, until now.

When I think back on those years Jims presence was a true light. He was soft and shiny and incredibly handsome. So full of love, and cuddles. And present moment joy.

He truly looked like my relative, I’d think. A member of my soul family.

He grew to be somewhat of a familiar. Sitting outside the shiatsu room as I gave massages. Helping bring through the light.

He ran with me, for years. Regular 5k runs. No lead necessary. No lead necessary because he was dependably obedient. Wait, wait, wait, wait, OK. He pissed on everything. Got in a couple of nasty fights, but mostly ran away and avoided challenge. Sometimes he even crossed the road to avoid an ominous dog up ahead.

He used to be amused when we picked up after him.

Nothing made him happier than going out for walks with the family, his pack.

When Andy and I had a cuddle. Jim would come and join in.

Once I had Evie, three years ago now,  I couldn’t pay him attention in the same way. When John John came along I could do so even less. I’m biologically wired to focus on my children, as are all mothers. In these last few months I’ve been more aware of him, more able to let him in again. More conscious to give him pats and attention. But nothing like what it was for the first ten years of his life, before we had babies, when I loved him with my whole being and could devote my attention to him.

I did still of course, love him, but I wasn’t in touch with that part of me. I was distracted by the overwhelming demands of my own children. Even on Thursday night when Andy was gravely concerned about Jims health I found it difficult to emotionally connect to the situation. Then that night I had a prophetic dream where I was being accused of ‘hating jim’ …that I started bawling my eyes out (in the dream) and explaining I did love him I just haven’t had time or the emotional energy or space since having my children. The emotion was raw and fierce and most importantly, connected me with the love I have for Jim. Evie and John John both woke up at the same time right in the midst of this dreaming, unusually early at 5am. Because of the rude awakening my emotional connection to Jim stayed with me. This was a gift from my consciousness preparing me for the day ahead.

I was grumpy all morning until Andy left to drop the children off at daycare. Then I went back to bed. In bed I cried for Jim. I cried and cried like he was already passed. I thought to myself, why don’t you go and actually pat him, he’s just sitting outside. I did. He moved his head to meet my hand, fur still so soft, eyes a bit cloudy.

Even with all this emotion and readiness, it was shocking and hard to hear he needed to be put down that day. To prolong his life anymore was simply cruel, and risky.

I saw him on his bed. His head down. His shoulders slumped. There was a flatness about his energy, his spirit was ready to leave his body.

Andy took him to the vet and left him for examination, expecting to pick him up again and bring him home for recovery. Within a couple of hours they’d called with some bad news. Prepare for him to go.

I got in the car with Andy, breathed out heavy. We had a gorgeous dog with us all this time, for nearly all of our relationship, but today is the day he dies. I breathed out again.

The last couple of days have been a process of grief. I’m in no hurry to move on. I’m feeling all the sadness in the way it needs to be felt.

I’ve found my own inner wisdom gives the most healing inspiration.  The day after I dug out the old photo albums. I saw all the happy times, the fun, his youth and beauty, the thousands of walks over thirteen years.

I did some restorative yoga. The movement helped move and release the emotion in my body.

That afternoon I watched Marley and Me, the movie helped clarify and validate my experience. It soothed me.

I watched a wrinkle in time, more soul medicine.

I went to birthday party and spoke to friends, I went to a workshop and sat circle with women.

I wrote, I kept feeling called to write but I sat at my computer for an hour not able to, just feeling pain.  I went to give up many times but my inner wisdom told me to sit back down and keep trying. and I did, and now I’ve written I feel much better. More healed.

Your own inner wisdom knows the best medicine.

How blessed we have been.